+ 'its march the 14th.  you know what that means?' craig ferguson asks, 'that means its the 14th of march...  its 314, the first three digits of the mathematical constant pi!  the number pi goes on forever, it stretches all the way to infinity.  its kind of like having dinner with regis philbin.  i thought about coming out here and explaining the mathematical principle of pi, but i'm too pretty to understand it.  all i know is that pi is a squiggly symbol.  on national pi day, math teachers are meant to show students how you can get the number pi by dividing 22 by 7 on a calculator.  i've never been that good with calculators, any time a calculator is in hand i just use it to spell boobs.  80085!  the state of illinois used to hold a special beauty pageant on pi day, it had beautiful women who would write out the number of pi on a chalk board for twenty four straight hours.  but people thought it was sexist so it was cancelled.  thats why we have the song 'bye bye, miss american pi'!  now, thats not true, but if that was true, wouldnt that be awesome?!?'
- regis philbin

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