+ 'well, rick santorum dropped out of the race, so the big story today is about dinosaur eggs', craig ferguson diverts, 'thats true, there used to be bird like dinosaurs.  no, this is actually a big discovery, this is a big deal.  the fossils of dinosaurs and their eggs have never been found in the same place.  well, i for one think its nice that scientists found eggs on easter weekend!  they were like 'oh, i hope we find eggs!' and then they did!  if i were one of the scientists i would have played a trick on the other scientists.  i would have secretly switched dinosaur eggs with cadburry's cream eggs!  'good heaven, these dinosaur eggs are delicious, arent they?  chocolate covered with white gooy substance?  reminds me of my time in the navy!'  anyway, look, they werent just ordinary dinosaurs, they were alveosaurus.  i know!  basically, it means 'big nasty birds'.  instead of wings they had tiny little arms, and each arm had a big nasty claw on it.  which tells you one thing:  they were not masturbating very often, thats for sure!  thats why they were so angry!'

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