+ 'its a joyful day for me in l.a. and for all of us who are parents', craig ferguson shares, 'because the kids go back to school today! ha ha! yes! off you go! see you later kiddies! or for the children of l.a., 'adios, los ninos!' 'craig, are you implying...' yes, i am implying! anyway, this week, all around the country, millions of kids are back to the three 'r's, readin', writin', and ritalin! my kids actually love going to school, well not the youngest one, he's only eight months old. he's not at school yet, he works as a chimney sweep. yes, thats right, my eight month old son is a dickensian chimney sweep in los angeles of all places! its adorable, his first words were 'ello govna!' anyway, its back to school time, time to break out the ol' slate and ink well and leather book strap. this is how long ago its been since i was at school, i'm not kidding, i remember calculators came out while i was at school and the school had to decide if it was ok to use in class. i learned some very important skills on that calculator, like how to turn it upside down and spell 'boobs'. thats how i ended up here! before the calculator we used the standard mathematical tool in scotland, where i grew up, the potato.'

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