+ 'welcome to hollywood california, welcome to the late late show, i am your host, tv's craig ferguson', craig states as the applause quickly dies down, 'thats good, lets get straight to the awkward pause, shall we? 'craig, you dont normally do the awkward pause that early in the show?' i know, thats what makes it awkward. it is a great day for a beautiful actress and a friend of the show, the lovely mila kunis. she was voted 'sexiest woman of the summer' in a poll by moviephone. 'if you know the name of the woman you would like to masturbate to, press one! press it again! faster!' the oscar news is out, right here in hollywood its been announced, eddie murphy is going to host next years academy awards. fantastic news, i say. the oscar producers say it was a tough call picking a host, it came down to eddie murphy and anyone not called james franco... i'm still angry about that, by the way. if you dont have to be there, then why the hell do i have to watch?!?'

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