+ 'tonight all eyes are on the big global news story everyone is talking about', craig ferguson shares, 'historic changes rocking one of the most ruthless and hated families on earth. thats right, kim kardashian got married! no, i'm talking about libya, the rebel army is taking down the evil regime. its kind of like star wars except without the gay robot. no one knows right now where the low budget bond villain muammar gaddafi is, but he has promised to die defending himself. that is a guy who once he gets a bad idea he sticks with it! rumors are that gaddafi is trying to escape tripoli wearing a wig! some people think gaddafi will end up going into exile somewhere harmless where we can keep an eye on him. i say 'dancing with the stars'. my guess is gaddafi will get arrested and have to face trial at the hague, which is in the netherlands, and i dont think the dutch prosecutors will go easy on him. 'i have been smoking hashish all day and i still dont understand why you are wearing those curtains for an outfit'. however this ends, my hats off to the people of libya for over throwing a brutal despot, and to nato deserves credit as well, it was french fighter pilots who strafed his compound. it seems like only a couple weeks since french fighter pilots were strafing my compound... with gaddafi out of the way it wont be long before we have peace and stability in the middle east forever- ha ha ha! seriously, i think i speak for everyone around the world when i say we are hoping for an end to the bloodshed, a peaceful transition to democracy, and cheaper gas! you know, last night one of gaddafi's sons was captured live on tv. i think those gaddafi kids are going to have a rough time of it, because a revolution is not a great time to be the child of a dictator. or as they are known, dictator tots! see what i did there? its like tater tots, but with a dick in front of it!'
poor geoff peterson broke his arm during the monologue.

No comments: