+ 'theres a couple big movies opening today', craig ferguson shares, 'the alien invasion movie 'battle: l.a.', and the fairy tale 'red riding hood'. its very tough for me to choose between these two movies cause the straight male part of me wants to see battle: l.a., but the other 95% wants to see red riding hood. battle: l.a. is not that realistic though because in the movie america goes all out to save the city of l.a., but i think if aliens really did attack l.a. i think the rest of america would be like 'eh, take it'. even people in l.a. would be like 'fine, take it. its crap. we know its crap- look at it, its garbage!' i'm not surprised that theres a movie about little red ridding hood, though. hollywood studios love a story like that, you know, centuries old so it has a rich history about it, but more importantly, its in public domain so they dont have to pay for it. its the same reason cbs wanted the theme song for this show to be 'mary had a little lamb'. 'craigy had a late late show, late late show, late late show, craigy had a late late show, late late show, late late show, and it was really cheap!' anyway, the movie red ridding hood is from the director of the twilight movie. now, i just saw the twilight movie. i figured i probably should watch this since i had been making fun of it on the show, and i though 'awe, come on and watch this'. and i was surprised that i was right- it is garbage! i mean, i'm sorry! i dont mean to rain on anybody's parade. i've seen some bad movie, i've been in some bad movies- i've been in some bad vampire movies! but this thing is a whole dimension of suck! i mean all this build up and tension and then... nothing happens! its like porn without any of the porny parts! its like if the plumber in the porn actually came to fix the sink and got paid with actual money! its like if the pizza actually got delivered!'
+ dear aquaman

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