3-07-11

+ 'i saw this headline in a scottish newspaper today', craig ferguson shares, 'thats right, leno, you are not the only one who reads the newspapers, and i get mine from scotland where the news is only two centruries old and bleek and damp- all the newspapers are in black and white, just like the rainbows! it said 'royal zoological society of scotland denies 'concealing' beavers'. wha? now i can only say this once because the cbs censor is actually here tonight: come on scotland, show us your beavers! when i was in scotland i didnt see a beaver the entire time i was there! thats why i immigrated!'

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