+ 'its a great day for us here at cbs', craig ferguson admits, 'last night the premiere of hawaii 5-0, it was huge! the rating came in today and 13.8 million people watched it. to get an idea of how many people that is, take the number of people who watch this show, add 13.8 million, and right there! now here is what happens with rating information: the networks have teams of guy in suits, they are sort of like magical nerds. their job is to take the numbers and make them sound good no matter what they are. the magical nerds then break down the ratings into demographics, they are like this: hawaii 5-0 did well with men aged 18-24 and women aged 24-49, but it did poorly with babies 0-1 and geezers 118-128. it really gets that specific, really. i mean, this show apparently does really great with certain demographics, people in federal prisons love this show, its true, the prisoners feel a sense of kinship with me in this tiny little dark cell with a skinny gay dude hitting on me most of the time, geoff peterson! we dont do well with other demographics like, um, pirates. we dont do well with pirates. 'i go to bed early and i dont have a d.v.arrrr'.'

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