9-15-10

+ 'if i have an extra spring in my step today its because i'm excited', craig ferguson admits, 'very excited. and i'm on cocaine. no. its alright though, its someone elses cocaine. no, i'm not, i'm just excited. i'm genuinely excited, because i've been waiting for this all year, people magazine released its best dressed list and i'm on it!' craig then shows a picture of a beautiful woman with craig's head posted on. 'i know on the picture my head looks a little too big for my body, but thats because i have the bolemia. thats what we believe out here in l.a., small head, big body, and the smell of vomit. we're a little dark tonight, isnt this? ah, what can you do? people magazine also put out their worst dressed list. i'm surprised i wasnt really on that, cause i thought the used car salesman look is in this year... i dont pick these suits out, they are left over from bob barker, i've told you that. and when i got them the pockets were filled with moth balls. at least i hope they were both balls, bob barker is really into neutering dogs, so...'

> don rickles

- ellie kemper