+ 'the president is trying to back the republicans into a corner by paying for tax cuts on the small businesses by putting tax hikes on big businesses', craig ferguson comments about the new tax plan, 'its like that old trick where you take two balls and you throw one in the air to distract your opponent, then throw the other one at his chest. that right, i can explain abstract fiscal policy using analogies about balls! youre welcome. tomorrow night we will discuss trickle down economics... anyway, i'm not a political expert, but i think going after the rich is a good idea in an election year. or any other year for that matter, because lets face it, rich people are bastards. even rich people would agree with that, they are like 'its true, now hand me another golden sausage'. actually, so far rich people have been very quiet about the possibility of getting taxes raised against them. but that doesnt mean they wont get mad about it, it just means they dont know about it yet. it takes a while for bad news to get to a rich person. first their accountant has to tell the butler who has to tell the manservant, who wouldnt dare interrupt the game of crochet! its actually not true, rich people arent like that anymore, rich people could be ordinary folks just like you and me. yes, its true. what about that guy in the jersey shore, the situation? he just bought a hundred thousand dollar bentley! actually, i think he paid an extra ten grand to give it a spray tan. the new taxes are going to put rich people in a tough spot- paris hilton may have to carry her own cocaine! trump may have to fire the guy who changes that thing on his head! warren buffet may have to move in with his cousin jimmy buffet! anyway, i've said this before, i dont look forward to paying my taxes, but i recognize that as a citizen its something we all have to do. i try not to lie on my tax form. too much... ill let you in on a little lie i've been using on the tax returns for years: you know on the little box that says 'occupation'? i put down entertainer!'
* james lipton showing off his potty mouth!

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