+ 'its a big day in politics, of course', craig ferguson explains, 'the primary elections in seven states, people are going to the polls and casting their votes and everyone is talking about the same thing, this: scientists find that bats have regional accents. never mind the polls! who gives a rats ass about that stuff! democracy? bah! bats have accents! i've always wondered. today australian scientists have announced that they finally answered the age old question 'do bats have accents?' yes they do, of course. bats are small mammals, basically they are just big eared flying squirrels, but they are not as cute as squirrels and they dont hide their nuts for the winter. i hide my nuts in wooley speedoes. by the way, wooley speedoes is a new nascar driver... its a hell of a year though for australian scientists. last week they discovered tractor beams, and now they found out bats have accents. is there anything australian scientists cant do? 'right now we are trying to train dingos to protect babies! its not going that well right now...'.'
- kristen bell wearing a moustache! and even sticks around to help out with the emails

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