+ 'it is a great day for mitt romney', craig ferguson shares, 'last night he won the new hampshire primary. so, congratulations, establishment cyborg! people are being inspired by his bland diction and gorgeous hair. now, romney's win means he gets seven delegates and a wagon full of maple syrup. now, its on to south carolina where the winner gets a hog and a gamecock. its the south carolina school mascot, i googled it eariler today. mitt romney, sure he looks like a decent enough guy. oh, of course, he's a corporate vampire who bought companies only to suck the profit out only to leave behind closed factories and ruined lives, but he made an ass load of cash doing it, and now owns four houses, so it all worked out in the end. whats amazing, though, is that all of romney's opponents in the GOP are going after him for being the head of a venture capital firm. i'm like 'republicans attacking a guy for making money on the free market?' thats like clinton criticizing an intern program- thats crazy!'
- adam goldberg
- mercedes masohn