+ 'its a great day if you like undersea creatures', craig ferguson states, 'and who doesn't like undersea creatures? jerks! you know who you are! no, i'll tell you why, cause near antartica, scientists just discovered new undersea creatures. one of them is being called the hairy chested yeti crab. i always thought yeti crabs was what you get after having sex with a yeti, but not true! not anymore! actually, that's not true, you don't get anything after having sex with bigfoot. not even a phone call! there is another creature called the seven armed sea star, and the ghost pale octopus. i dont know how these so called scientists name real animals after real stuff: yeti crab, ghost pale octopus. that's crap. you cant name real species after made up things. before you know it, they will be discovering the female orgasm platypus! its a joke, relax. you know what a platypus is, right? its like a beaver, but australian. it goes around the other way...'
- melissa rauch