+ 'there is so much going on, i dont know where to begin tonight!' criag ferguson exclaims, 'the gas prices are rising, the presidential race is beginning to heat up, the trouble in the middle east is going crazy, but none of that really concerns me. you know why? because this week is national library week. wait, try to contain your enthusiasm. 'library? whats that?' this is the week that we celebrate our nation's libraries by... returning books that are overdue! i still got my copy of 'y2k for dummies'. i actually was very worried about that y2k thing, but weirdly not until a couple of months ago. what other old books do i have? 'ricky martin's tips for picking up ladies', thats a bit of an old one. 'john edwards: our future president', 'jay and conan: a friendship for the ages'. probably needs a new appendix on that one... i return my books on time, i've never understood people who hold on to it forever, the whole concept of borrowing is that you return it. unless of course you are lindsay lohan, then... 'whoa craig, that was an actual late night joke!' a lot of people think that books will soon be obsolete with all those e-readers out there, you know the kindle and the nook and the ipad. its difficult to find the best one, so here's my advice to the kids: dont read. dont read ever. just get a fat ass, do a sex tape, and someone will give you a reality show. anyway, no matter what happens to books, libraries will never go out of style cause homeless people will always need a place to look up internet porn.'
- isabella rossellini
- casey wilson

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