+ 'today is a holiday that not many people know about', criag ferguson shares, 'its actually john muir day. 'who's john muir?' john muir is a famous naturalist. a naturalist is someone who is really in to nature. do not confuse a naturalist with a naturist. a naturist is someone who really loves nude volleyball. like me! oh yes, when i'm out there on the beach you should see me drive my spike into the sand. and then you should see me play volleyball! john muir lived in the 1800's, he moved here actually from scotland. he spent his life trying to preserve america's nature. as someone who also immigrated from scotland, i feel i followed in muir's footsteps. in that he went on to save america's wilderness, and i went on to hold up a cussing rabbit puppet. at that point, we kind of went our separate ways... in many ways i did more than he did- the nature was already here! muir is considered the father of our national parks and i'm glad we still have national parks, you know, land untouched by starbucks, and shopping malls, and kardashians... muir spent years walking across america, people thought he was looking for nature, but i suspect that he was just scottish and didnt want to spring for the bus fare. 'no, its too expensive, i will in fact just walk from here to the pacific!' john muir went on to establish yosemite national park. one of america's most famous hiking trail is there, its called the john muir trail. i've never actually understood the word 'hiking'. its just like walking for snobs. you cant just invent a fancy word like for walking to make it sound important. its like saying 'i'm not sitting down, i'm power lounging'. its just walking! 'i'm going hiking', oh are you? what kind of hiking are you doing? that kind of one foot in front of the other hiking? 'yes, but with special shoes on and i carry my own water' ooooh, you must have trained for fucking years!!!'

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