+ 'its a great day for underwater life', criag ferguson shares, 'you know: fish, plankton, aquaman. cause today the beardy gazillionaire richard branson unveiled a new project. a submarine that can zoom around like a jet airplane. its awesome! you know branson, hes the guy that started all the virgin things: virgin records, virgin atlantic, susan boyle. anyway, richard branson is currently the 212th richest man in the world. 212? bill gates and warren buffet are like 'loser!'. richard branson has allready started working on a space exploration program and now he wants to explore the depths of the ocean. i'm thinking this is a guy who really hates his family! i like him though, he's got style. now, i've never been to the bottom of the ocean but i already know whats there: water. you are welcome, richard branson, i just saved you half a billion dollars! the new submarine is amazing, it can go seven miles down. thats very deep! 'how deep is it craig?' its so deep even noam chompsky doesnt understand it! so, we have an audience full of fans of analytic philosophy, i see. 'we dont know what that is, but we are afraid not to laugh'. dont worry, its funny if you are brainy. i dont understand it either.'

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