4-12-11

+ 'its a great day if you like catching crabs, and who doesnt?' craig ferguson asks, 'the season premier of 'deadliest catch' was on earlier tonight on another channel. i cant say which one, but finding it would be quite the discovery... pst, its the discovery channel, unaffiliated with cbs. dont cbs get annoyed about that? not as much as they get annoyed with me fucking cussing all the time! anyway, i get excited about 'the deadliest catch' because its one of my favorite shows, its about fishermen looking for crabs off the coast of alaska. its one of the only places to go if you want to find crabs, either that or the hot tub on the jersey shore. crab fishing is not like ordinary fishing, you dont just sit on a boat with a bucket of worms and a big rod, crab fishing is dangerous. the weather is unforgiving, ships have to be on the look out for an ice formation, or a rogue wave, or a fridged gail. by the way, fridged gail is the name of the cbs censor we have here on the show. thats her name. its actually her nickname, her real name is gail assbucket. why would you become a censor with a name like assbucket? thats not her full name, her full name is gail fucking assbucket!'

= wynonna judd

- ariel tweto