4-01-11

+ 'its a great day for america, everybody', craig ferguson shares, 'its a great day. to be honest its been kind of sad too. i've been doing this show for six years, been a nightly guest in american homes, its an honor i'll never ever forget. i'll always be thankful for cbs, i know i poke fun at them, but they have supported me all the way. which makes it difficult for me to tell you this: i am going to be leaving the show at the end of the month. april fools!!! ha ha ha! you suck! i win! you suck! dont you hate that?!? when some douche thinks they can do whatever they want because its april first. why on this day its ok to play a practical joke? although i guess what i did wasnt really a practical joke cause i promised people what they really want and then i snatched it away from them. i heard one or two 'aww's and the rest went 'oh! does this mean saget?' it wasnt really a joke, it was more of a tease. but thats what i am, a tease! i wish the first day of every month had a prank theme. you know, after april fools day, may could be 'may i kick you in the balls?', june: june know i want to kick you in the balls', july: july if you say you dont like all this ball kicking!'.'

- paul giamatti