+ 'a lot of people from here in california are going out to the desert this weekend', craig ferguson states, 'its coachella, the three day music festival. coachella, in case you dont know, is a native american word that means 'nine dollar beer'. coachella calls itself a music and arts festival, but i doubt theres much art unless you count the dudes painting the grass with vomit. there wont be as much nudity as there was at woodstock, its woodstock without the wood. people always say woodstock was so awesome, it wasnt that great, everyone was wacked out on drugs, sleeping in the mud, reeking of b.o. it was like half a million randy quaads. they say that if you remember woodstock then you werent really there. well i dont remember it so i was probably there then, even though i was five at the time. actually its possible... the coachella festival always gets the huge bands, this year its kanye west. it was originally going to be taylor swift, but kanye ran up and got the microphone first. anyway, coachella usually has a bunch of electronic music. i admit, i dont really understand electronic music, it sounds like a horny robot talking gibberish, and frankly i get enough of that around here...'

* awesome biologist dan riskin

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