4-14-11

+ 'not a great day for the FAA', craig ferguson admits, 'you know, a high ranking faa official had to resign because several air traffic controlers fell asleep on the job. thats not good. i dont know what faa stands for, maybe 'fell asleep again', 'fierce and available', 'fun with alcohol and amphedamines'... anyway, the faa is of course the federal aviation administration, and the official who resigned was in charge of air traffic control. yesterday an air traffic controller fell asleep while planes were trying to land in reno. now, i've been to reno. i mean no disrespect to the people of reno, but not landing in reno is not the worst thing in the world! this was the sixth time this year the air traffic controllers have been caught sleeping. i know a good way to keep these guys awake: force them to sit in the same cramped seats that we have to sit in on the airplanes! sleep deprivation effects everyone. i havent been getting much sleep because i have a baby at home, thats why. you know when you hear people say 'oh, i slept great, i slept like a baby' really? what babies have you met? if sleeping like a baby means crying all night and pooping, by that definition i slept like a baby from 1979 to 1992! i had dificulty sleeping as a kid, i'd get scared. i'd worry about a monster in the closet, cause there's nothing scarier than a monster who refuses to admit that he's gay.'


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