+ 'it's labor day today', craig ferguson reminds us, 'that's the end of wearing white. i have to put away my favorite white pumps. i've always been an outlaw though, i will continue wearing my white speedo. you want to take away my white speedo? you'll have to tear it away from my cold dead wiener. anyway, last week because we were going to HD i got my teeth whitened. but now its labor day, with summer gone, i'll have to have my teeth darkened for winter. my father used to have seasonal rules like that, he would drink light beer, like lager, in the summer, and dark beer, like guinness in the winter. his thinking was that light beer cools you in the summer, and the guinness warms you in winter. and that way being drunk isn't dependant on the seasons. a bit of a health nut, my dad.'+ celebrities read excerpts from craig's book

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