+ 'the x-games start today', craig ferguson informs us, 'the closest i ever got to participating in an extreme sport was when i was a kid. we used to make soap box racers. we used to call them 'bogeys'. i dont know why, but we called them bogeys. you find a wooden box and add spoked wheels from a baby carriage and go very fast down hill. stopping was a big problem cause there weren't any breaks on them. you had to do that fred flintstone thing where your feet are on the road. and so i noticed this, and being a sensitive little boy, i said 'i think we need some breaks on this' and all the other people in scotland are like 'oh, you want sundresses to go with your wee breaking system, do ya?' 'oh, breaks is it? oh, why don't you go to l.a. and be with your own kind, ya safety loving panzie!' ah, good times...'