+ 'theres a big movie opening today: g.i. joe', craig reminds us, 'g.i. joe of course is the figure that comes with the guns and the radios, but no genitals. i'm thinking how can that be a good movie? the only reason i go see movies is if there's genitals in it. no genitals? then i'll keep my ten dollars, thank you. they call the g.i. joe toys 'action figures' because the toy companies think that dads wont buy their sons dolls, if the dads let their boys play with dolls it might make them gay. i dont know much about g.i. joe, it was popular in the 80's and by then i was too old for action figures, i had moved on to other toys, you know, strawberry shortcake, my little pony... i was into a different sort of toys: you know, tequila. more than meets the eye! it certainly transformed me, i'll tell ya. in scotland we had action man, its kind of like g.i. joe, it had the action grip, the little scar on its face. i always wondered when they would make the action man movie, then a couple of years ago in a hotel room i saw a movie called 'action man' on pay per view. it wasnt a war movie at all... but one of the men was heavily decorated. toys werent cool when i was a kid, the commercials for the toys were better than the actual toy. like that game 'kerplunk'. remember that game kerplunk? man that was crap! a clear plastic cylinder with sticks inside holding up a bunch of balls and then when you pulled them out and the balls fell you said 'kerplunk'. thats the game! thats it! i thought the game would be fun cause in the commerical it looks great cause the family looks like they are having fun- the werent angry, they werent drunk- nothing like my family. i was so conditioned by the commerical, so for years afterwards i said 'kerplunk!' every time i saw balls drop, so at about 13 years old i announced to my family at dinner one night 'guess what everybody? kerplunk!'+ the j k rowling show with jeffrey tambor as stehenie meyer
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