9-02-09

+ 'the big brewhaha in russia', craig ferguson shares, 'here's what they're all cockahoop about in russia, there's a man in russia who's taking a newspaper to court, taking a russian newspaper to court because they are writing bad things about his grandfather. his grandfather was a man by the name of joseph stalin. what kind of a cheap rag would dare to say a bad think about uncle joe stalin? if you dont know joe stalin, he ruled the soviet union for 30 years, lets just say he was a bit of a 'bad dude'. a bad dude in the kind of 'cant be tamed' justin timberlake sort of way? stalin was even badder than justin timberlake! what? yeah. he was so bad during world war two he signed a non-aggression pact with the nazi's, he wiped out millions of his own people, and he had a very unpleasant moustache. now, you have to be very weary of men with moustaches: stalin had a moustache, hitler had a moustache, sadam hussein had a moustache, tom selleck had a moustache. that's right, magnum, i know what you did with higgins! anyway, stalin's grandson is on a mission, hes trying to restore stalin's good name. i thought we only had crazy people in california! what he said to the court in russia was that stalin presided over a golden era of literature and the arts. which is a bit like saying hannibal lecter presided over a golden era of fine cuisine. its like saying micheal vick presided over a golden era of pet care. you see what i'm saying?'
+ still no jason ritter. craig promises that he will be on tomorrow.

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