+ 'the big news here is that we are finally in HD', craig ferguson announces, 'now, i would like to assure both our regular viewers, even though cbs has spent upward of $200 upgrading the cameras, we will still be doing the same tired old crap we always do. you know what i did today? do i look like i'm a little 'aghh', you know what i did today? because we are going to HD, i'm such a douche, what i did was go to get my teeth whitened! i cant tell you the kind of pain i'm in right now! just four hours ago i was strapped to a chair while a man was putting strange apparatus in my mouth, then i went and had my teeth whitened... if i didn't have my teeth whitened, some people might suspect that i'm not originally from the united states!'

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