+ 'i feel vulnerable this evening', craig ferguson confesses, 'its all this late night stuff, its working away at me. its like i had onions. havent i ever told you about that? onions dont agree with me at all. and i'm not talking about in an existentialist way, its not like i go into the kitchen and say 'hmm, is there a god?' and the onions are like 'dont be absurd'. its not like that. they dont argue with me in that regard, they just dont agree with me. when i eat onions they cause me to feel upset down below. and this whole late night thing is doing the same thing. everyone is all fighting, i hate it when mom and dad are fighting and i dont know what to do. and then i got all frightened cause i was watching dave earlier on, and he just introduced me now, cause we're live, and he said 'i think its craig ferguson next' and i'm like 'what do you know?!? dave, i've always been loyal to you!' anyway, not to worry. i mean, i loose this job i can always get something better. lets be honest. there are fast food chains that are dying for a young wipper snapper like me. i know how this is going to end up, with me selling used cars on regional television. 'come down to our store where we are having a massive sale on cars that advertise on cbs!'. awe man, it makes me feel bad, i wish i was in a more stable profession... actually, i just lied to you- i'm loving this shit!'+ craig's spanish word of the day: tortuga- turtle!
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