1-05-10

+ 'today is a great day if you are a fan of crabs', craig ferguson announces, 'its true, and who isnt a fan of crabs? if you have tuned in tonight to hear the latest crab news, then tonights your lucky night! because scientists have discovered a brand new species of crab, its called the strawberry crab. why? i'll tell you why: because it looks like a strawberry. isnt that adorable? and its tasty i imagine as well. i'd rather have a case of strawberries than a case of crabs. but you can get either at a road side stand for ten bucks. i learned that the hard way. anyway, the scientists found the crab of the coast of taiwan, i think they heard it call or something 'come to me, i look like a delicious fruit!' same thing i call every night 'come to me, i look like a delicious fruit!' but the strawberry crab may be cute, but he's still a crab. and i dont like crabs. i'll tell you why: i dont like anything that walks sideways. i dont like crabs, ancient egyptians, and lawyers. alright, thats a bit harsh, i didnt mean to offend the ancient egyptians.
+ craig got a marshmallow gun to shoot at the audience.
+ craig calls kathy griffin to see how her CNN new years eve gig went.

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