1-06-10

+ 'now, yesterday i spent the whole monologue talking about crabs', craig ferguson reminds us, 'the kind that live in the sea because there was a new species of crab discovered. anyway, today there is even more exciting news from the sea that i want to talk about. i guess that makes this 'sea week' on the show. keep in mind, sea week might not go past tonight though... earlier today there was trouble on the high seas. now, what was the trouble? i hear you ask. was it sharks? was it pirates? no, whale hunters. they rammed their ship right into some anti whaling protesters. actually, i support all those environmental groups like green peace, but nothing makes those guys angrier than whaling. except maybe if you take their weed. i'm glad people are out there fighting for animal rights. they disrupt the whaling, they fight the elephant poachers, they fight for the right for dogs to play poker. now, the protesters had to be evacuated to another boat called, and i'm not kidding, the 'bob barker'. they were thinking about updating the boat and calling it the 'drew carrey', but they would need a bigger boat. take that, old friend! apparently what happened is that bob barker donated money to this protesting group and they named the boat after him. i think that's why they named the boat after him, that what they say, but i think they named it after him is because it's old and leaky. i'm kidding, i love bob barker. last time i had him on he tried to have me spade and neutered. the whaling boat is from japan, they hunt more whales than anyone else. shouldnt they be hunting godzilla? a whale isn't going to destroy tokyo, godzilla is!'
- ray romano
= herb alpert