+ 'over in london the olympic torch is burning 24 hours a day, just like my genitals', craig ferguson jokes, 'dont worry, i'll press on...  did you see the opening ceremony tonight?  wasnt it fabulous?  i liked it when, um, something.  i dont know.  the opening ceremony kicks off the olympics with flair and it sets up the audience with expectations of a terriffic time.  its like what we do here, except the opposite.  i see its working this evening very well, too.  like everything else in britan, the opening ceremony tonight was judged by simon cowell.  'those fireworks were rubbish!  that torch isnt nearly as flaming as seacrest!'  anyway, here's what i think, the opening ceremonies are supposed to show the best of britain, right?  why didnt they just show an episode of downton abbey?  i'll be honest, i didnt watch the opening ceremony tonight cause i tivo'ed them.  dont tell me what happened, i'll get around to watching them... never.  well, my tivo is backlogged with episodes of house hunters international.'
- vince vaughn

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