+ 'its a great day for america if you like mashed potatoes', craig ferguson informs, 'well, who doesnt like mashed potatoes? no one. even al quida loves potatoes, they are like 'death to america, except idaho! your tasty spuds melt my cold disdain for your western decadence!' today a seven-11 store in singapore introduced a new food dispenser, an instant mashed potato dispenser. i'm very excited about this! i've been waiting for this my whole life! you see, when i was a kid grown up in scotland, there were very popular commercials for an instant mashed potato product called smash. its true, it was a powder that you added water to and you got mashed potatoes. i thought it was the future! the commercial was creepy robots who mocked humans for all the work they did to make mashed potatoes instead of just adding water. and we have the actual commercial! [craig then shows this commercial]. for mash get smash! thats when jingles were jingles! we've got our mashed potato machine now, so take that robots that used to scare the crap out of me!'
- ray romano
= trampled by turtles