+ 'its a great day for president obama', craig ferguson states, 'his health care was upheld by the supreme court. the president apparently had three speeches prepared this morning: one if the law was overturned, one if it was upheld, and one if joe biden chewed up the other two. the president is very cocky now, he released a statement today saying 'you know who this health care doesnt affect? osama bin laden!' and then he added 'yeah, i was born in kenya, so what?'. the media went nuts this morning, all the different media outlets of course have their own point of view: msnbc went 'yeah!', at fox news all the conservatives were like 'grrrr', and bravo was like 'one more day till magic mike opens!' you know that some people watching cnn were so shocked that they started rioting! just kidding, no one watches cnn. you know, one thing is for sure, now that health care is assured, i'm going to be frying everything i eat! thats me, fried food and cigarettes! i'm going to deep fry cigarettes and get all the goodness!'
- denis leary
= brandi carlile