+ 'not a great day for a friend of this show, a great comedian and actor, fred willard', craig ferguson regrets to inform, 'he was arrested last night.  72 years old, fred is.  he was arrested last night in a porno theater with his trousers down.  i'm not the only creepy old man out there now!  i was shocked when i heard this, i was like 'there are still porn theaters?!? thats adorable!'  i wonder if they show retro porn, you know, like with extra hair!  well, is sounds like the dark knight isnt the only thing rising in the theaters, if you know what i mean...  i have to say, i am a huge fan of fred willard, i like fred personally as a man, and i think at 72 years old he is still watching porn and making the effort to get in his car and drive to the theater...  he was arrested in an adult theater giving himself an act of self massage perhaps.  and i'm like isnt that what you are supposed to do in an adult theater?  like, is there anyone from downton abbey going 'what are you doing?  i came here for the enjoyable popcorn and the gene se qua of the atmosphere.'  its a porn theater!  whats next? he'll get arrested for eating in a restaurant?  dont worry fred, i recently got busted for doing the same thing at a recent showing of magic mike.  we love you fred, no judgement here.  a little bit of mirth, some rib tickling, but no judgement here.'
- kenneth branagh
ted alexandro

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