+ 'of course most of you will be tuned in tonight to hear today's big story and have me talk about it so i will and i will be happy to', craig ferguson admits, 'it is of course, the birthday of charles dickens.  what the hell?!?  and i didnt get him anything!  if charles dickens were still alive, he would be 200 years old today.  of course, he's dead.  he died last october.  it was a hot air balloon accident, his mustache caught fire.  it was terribly sad, yet hilarious!  isnt that dickens all over?  today in london there was a very touching ceremony to honor charles dickens in west minster abby where he is burried.  the actor ralph finnes read one of his books aloud.  because who better to honor charles dickens than voldemort!  perfect!  after that prince charles laid a wreath on his grave.  charles dickens wrote so many iconic novels, he wrote oliver twist, great expectations, tale of two cities, some of the best books ever written really.  he wrote 'the girl with the dragon tattoo', that was dickens.  he originally called it 'the lass with the serpentine bussom'.  see, dickens wrote in a very unique style because a lot of his stuff was published in monthly installments and he would get paid by the word, so he would write more words so he would get paid more.  makes sense.  so he wouldn't write 'the man went up the stares', he would right 'mr. crumblydumbly went up the crickldy dickledy staircase one humbly dimbly step at a time'.  that's fifty bucks right there!  i wish i got payed by the word out here, but they would just take it away every time i cussed, so i'd be broke.'
- kenneth branagh
chad daniels

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