5-28-13

+ 'here's the news from memorial weekend', craig ferguson shares, 'the fast and furious movie, it make a gasprillian dollars!  i'm going to go see this movie, and i'm not even a car guy.  i don't know the difference between double clutching and granny shifting.  i thought granny shifting was what cbs did during sweeps!  and the star of this movie is, of course, vin diesel.  which i think is the perfect name for an action star: vin diesel. i couldn't come up with a better one if i tried!  but i will anyway:  flin buckshot, grant meatfist, gnarl thrustgullet, j.t. asskicker, blaze cracklethrob.  in the new movie vin diesel and his crew come out of retirement for one last job, which, if i'm not mistaken, they did in the last two movies, and probably the next two movies as well, which you know there will be more.  it also stars dwayne 'the rock' johnson.  between dwayne 'the rock' johnson and vin diesel, the dialogue is sensational!  its like shakespeare... when he goes to the bathroom.  the producers said today they are only going to start filming fast and furious 7 when the script is just right... ha ha ha! come one!  they filled it already, they filmed it on an iphone over the weekend!  the thing is though, in the next one, who is going to be the bad guy?  its a tough roll to fill.  its got to be someone who is available, who is passionate about cars, and who audiences will accept as a ruthless villain who is capable of anything.  jay leno!  that's who its going to be: jay leno!  no offense to vin diesel and the rock, but their bald asses wouldn't stand a chance against leno's gray hair!'
- ellen page
* george stroumboulopoulos