+ 'i'm in a kerfuffle, i'm cockahoop and i'll tell you why', craig ferguson shares, 'cause today is the first day of e3, its the huge video game expo here in l.a.! the gaming experts are saying its the biggest gathering of virgins since they elected the pope. that would be a great video game: choose a pope! gather up the smoke, puff it out your chimney, and new pope! i love e3, e3 of course stands for electronic entertainment erection or something... i actually went to e3 last year, i saw someone dressed up as the big furry ape creature. i went up to them and was like 'hey, can i get a picture, donkey kong?' and it said 'i'm khloe kardashian!' every year at e3 they show the upgrades to your favorite games, the birds get angrier, the calls get dutyer, mario gets more super. oh, sorry, i'm thinking about yesterday's gay pride parade... anyway, the new video games have got the new facial recognition technology so your gaming console can identify you without logging in. so when i walk up to it it says 'hello mrs. minelli, what would you like to play?' you remember 'legend of zelda'? that was a great game, that was a fantasy game with sword play, magic, and midgets. today in e3 they unveiled the new legend of zelda, its called wind maker, and in wind maker, zelda must face the most dangerous wind maker of all: larry king! you know what i think would be a great game? late night talk show host. you play by dancing for quarters in the middle of the night. the most insincere douche wins the prize: a face off against the ruthless villain: doctor leno! doctor leno has never been beaten!'
- jonah hill
# tony kanaan