5-29-13

+ 'if you know anything about me, you know i wait for this day all year', craig ferguson states, 'today is the 60th anniversary of the first men to climb mount everest.  that's the big holliday for me!  sir edmond hillary and tensing norgay, they climbed the world's tallest mountain, 29,000 feet.  that's very high, very high indeed!  how high is it?  as high as a kardashian's waxing bill, its as high as the mayor of toronto, its as high as the pope's hat closet, its as high as willie nelson at a snoop dogg concert, its as high as kim jung un standing on dennis rodman.  now, edmond hillary was a kiwi, a kiwi is from new zeeland.  they are kind of like australians, except they have a fuzzy outer skin.  and no pouch like the australians.  tensing norgay was hillary's guide up mount everest, he was an ethnic sherpa, a native of napal.  he had lived mount everest but he had never climbed it.  then along came edmond hillary and he was like 'do you want to touch my fuzzy outer skin?'  anyway, the top of mount everest, its called 'the death zone'.  if you stay there your body doesn't get enough oxigen and you can quickly spiral into a black depression that feels like dying but you are still conscious.  there's a similar place in california, its called los angeles!'
- howie mandel
- brit marling