+ 'its a great day for me because i just got out of jury duty like three minutes ago!' craig ferguson shares, 'i was very happy to do my civic duty. well, i was very happy to be excused from my civic duty. i was at the l.a. county courthouse all day, i was there all day! it was like three hours in the jury room and it was getting really intense. you know what it was like? it was like a greyhound bus station, waiting for the bus of justice! and the woman next to me was cracking her knuckles and the woman across from me was giving me the stink eye! she was an old lady, but she fancied her chances. i was like 'i'll cut a bitch!' it was going to get shanky in there! and then they were called into this thing. what do they call it? a court! there were 45 potential jurors, and i was in there with all these different people. the judge starts interviewing everybody and they ask what job you do and i said 'late night talk show host' and everybody went 'oh!' and i went 'on cbs' and everybody went 'ugh.' it was a stalking case, it was about stalking! i was like 'judge, i do a lot of stalking, so i dont know if i'm right for this'. i dont know if it was really working, so i made a pass at the judge. anyway, she's meeting me later on!'
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