+ 'its not a great day in brazil', craig ferguson shares, 'you know brazil? the south american country famous for the nuts and the waxing, and the waxing nuts.  right now in northeast brazil they might have to shut down the breaches because of piranhas!  yikes!  you dont want to get in the water with one of those!  i feel the same about larry king.  i never go in the hot tub with larry king, although he does make his own bubbles.  they smell like brisket.  over the weekend 100 people in brazil were attacked by piranhas!  to give you an idea of just how aggressive these piranhas have become, the people that were attacked were in their hotels!  you know, the piranha fish are always popular in the bond movies as well.  the villain always says 'please excuse the bubbliness of my jacuzzi mr. bond, its just my deadly piranhas.  why dont you take a bath, mr. bond! ha ha!'.'
- mary lynn rajskub
* jackie collins
= trombone shorty

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