+ 'listen, if you've tuned in tonight to hear me talk about the nobel prize', criag begins, 'you are out of luck. i've talked about the nobel prize all week, and i'm not going to talk about it tonight. i'm kidding, its day four of the nobel prize week- its the nobel prize for literature! literature is books, you know those things that you download and then ignore because you are playing angry birds! the nobel prize for literature went to the author who has enriched all our lives- i'm talking of course about snookie. to be fair, i havent read snookie's book, maybe she's a young poofy haired hemingway, she's already got the drinking part down, she's already on her way! no, the guy who won today was a swedish poet. now, if you know anything about me, you know i love swedish poetry. some people like crack, but for me its swedish poetry! when ever the crack pipe gets handed to my, i say no thanks. 'let that pipe move along' i always say! 'i'm sorry barman, nothing in your entire establishment interests me, do you have any swedish poetry?' 'i'm sorry i cant look at your breasts, attractive stranger, unless they are covered in swedish poetry!'.'

No comments: