+ 'it was a big weekend for
felix baumgartner, the austrian daredevil who broke the world record for skydiving', craig ferguson shares, 'he jumped off a balloon 24 miles high and then fell to the earth so fast he broke the sound barrier. thats fast! how fast is that? faster than president obama's poll numbers after the debate, fell faster than bill clinton's pants at a strip club, fell faster than madonna's boobies when she takes off her top! i've got another one: faster than my balls- i'm old! the footage of his jump is amazing, really. at one point he starts spinning uncontrollably- like me during the 1980's but with less vomit! i saw him wearing the elaborate space suit with all the cushions and the padding and i thought 'you see arnold schwarzenegger, some austrians do use protection!' here's what i think is amazing: baumgartner landed completely upright on his feet- thats impressive, i can barely do that when i get out of bed!'
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jeff goldblum
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sarah paulson
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