+ 'arnold schwarzenegger is doing publicity because his book 'total recall' is coming out today', craig ferguson shares, 'i've read it already, of course, and arnold's book reveals all the secrets he kept from his wife.  that is why it is a million pages long.  i cant believe he managed to keep so many secrets, people believed his lies, even though, lets be fair, he is the worst actor of his generation!  but i dont like to think of arnold as just a terrible actor, he was also a terrible governor, and he was the creator of a terrible restaurant chain!  do you remember planet hollywood?  you get the movie themed meals, it was 'silence of the lamb chops', 'the good, the bad, and the baked potato', 'edward sausage hands'.  anyway, it doesnt matter what you think of arnold schwarzenegger, you have to admit he has lived a fascinating life: bodybuilder, actor, politician.  he has done so many things its easier to list the things he hasnt done: wear a condom!'
+ an excerpt from arnold schwarzenegger.  a brief sketch where an arnold impersonator reads fake excerpts from his autobiography.
- ethan hawk
lynyrd skynyrd

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