+ 'its not just a great day for america, its also a great day for our neighbors to the south', craig ferguson informs, 'or i should say 'es una dia marvillosa para mexico!' not bad, huh? it took me about a year to learn that. we used to do a spanish word of the day here every night. the only other phrase i remember is 'mi hungo es peludo' which means 'my mushroom is hairy'. you'd be surprised how often that comes in handy. now a lot of people dont know what cinco de mayo is about, and i call these people gringos. cinco de mayo is the day we celebrate the mexican army's defeat of the french army in 1862. now, back then the french army was huge and ferocious, now its just a couple mimes with a baggette. cinco de mayo is a huge holiday here in los angeles, i have no idea why. its not big everywhere though, you know what they call cinco de mayo in arizona? thursday. it might have something to do with that whole 'let me see your papers' thing. which is ironic because arizona used to be part of mexico, just ask arizona senator john mccain, he actually remembers it! i celebrate it the same way i do every year, by turning into a human pinata, i fill myself up with candy and have people hit me with a stick.'

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