+ 'today is a great day if you like music', craig ferguson shares, 'and who doesnt like music? well, al quida of course. 'i declare jihad on all forms of decadent western music, except of course for justin bieber'. i'll tell you why i got on to this: today is a very important day in a musical sense cause it was in this day in 1887 that thomas edison invented the phonograph, or record player. record players is how people used to listen to music back when music wasnt all sucky! i know what you are thinking, 'oh here we go, another middle aged white guy yammering on about how everything was better in the old days'. well, you are right, everything was better in the old days, you bastards. the music was better, the air was cleaner, i didnt have to use my feet to pick up my balls! when i take a shower its like playing hacky sack in the rain! thats right, applaud the advancing reaper, why dont you! anyway, edison came up with the idea of the recorded sound and giving it to the masses, and everyone should be happy for that, except of course for mel gibson. when edison invented the record player, this is true, he was partially deaf. which is amazing if you think of it. that would be like a super model inventing bacon! that would be like dick chaney inventing a cuddly toy, it would be like matthew mcconahoney inventing a line of shirts, or like micheal vick opening a doggy day care center! ok, thats enough...'

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