+ 'i've got nothing', craig ferguson admits, 'no really, i've got nothing. not much happened today, i didnt do much. which for most people its not really a problem, but if youve got a job like mine its a serious issue! 'what happened today?' not much. 'anything going on?' no. 'anything make you angry?' eh, i suppose. im just having one of those days. you know what i think it is? you know men have biorhythms that are very similar to a woman's cycle, except we are not allowed to have them. no its true, there is a scientific thing made up by me. scientists make crap up as well, i'll just make stuff up too. then you say 'ah, but you have to prove it!' you prove it first, scientists! they are like 'the theory of evolution. there you are'. i'm like 'uh, have you proved it?' 'no, its a theory'. well, here's my theory of the male menstrual cycle, hows that? 'craig, you cant prove it', well, neither can you! anyway the male menstrual cycle, which doesnt make any sense of course, i understand that. but look, its television, it doesnt have to make sense, it just has to fill time between the commercials, thats all it has to do. 'oh craig, it should make sense. what about great tv shows like huckleberry hound?' does that make sense? he's a dog that talks and he's slightly depressed. does that make sense?!? if a dog could talk he would be cockahoop! you know what a dog would say if it could talk? 'i can lick my own balls! isnt that amazing!' so you guessed i'm not lying about having nothing. i've got nothing! luckily though, during the commercial break i'm going to do something very interesting and then i will talk about it.'
+ summer livin' with sean connery

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