+ 'tonight is the premier of the second season of jersey shore', craig ferguson informs, 'there is no escaping this jersey shore thing, you can even buy bobble heads of the jersey shore cast. they are cheap plastic and mostly useless, and so is the cast. now, if you are not familiar with the jersey shore you're probably wondering what are these dynamic young people doing that is so interesting that it captures the nations attention? well, ill tell you what they do: nothing. seriously. they live rent free and spent their time drinking and tanning and punching each other in the face. wait, i've already made it sound more interesting than it actually is! to be fair, i dont want to be too hard on these brain dead herpies incubators, but it cant be easy having cameras follow you around 24-7. im glad there werent cameras everywhere when i was in my twenties, i would have been arrested. well, arrested more. i would be filmed being arrested. my hope is that the jersey shore kids get a bit classier after spending some time in miami this season, like that other famous miami resident: scarface! 'say hello to my little snooki!' you know, the thing about jersey shore, is that it may have already have hit its peak. the cast is famous now and now they are self aware. psychologists call this the 'hawthorne effect', once a subject is aware of being observed the behavior inherently changes. so the cast members will now have their agents and managers going around and when they get into fights they will be 'im going to have my people punch your people in the face!' its lost all its... whatever it had when i wasnt watching it last season. im a bit out of touch, i havent watched any of this. i dont watch the show. shouldnt i be watching the show? then i think 'why?'. well then you can talk about it. 'oh, i dont need to know' i'm on tv i dont need to know what i'm talking about!'

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