8-02-10

+ 'although its monday, it is day two of shark week!' craig ferguson exclaims. 'if you dont like shark week, go and join your friends in the caves of tora bora. i think you know what i'm saying! this year i'm actually appearing in shark week on the discovery channel. i'm not a shark, i'm one of the non-shark features, like water or bait actually. i think they asked me to be on shark week because i'm always talking about it. so from now on, im going to talk about something called 'booby week'! plus, you never know your luck. and just like shark week, i'm going to arrive by motor boat.... 'we're going to need a bigger boat'. anyways, as part of shark week i went down to the bahamas to go scuba diving with the sharks. well, the sharks didnt go scuba diving, that would have been weird. a shark doesnt need a wet suit. i could have been killed, is what i'm saying! thats why cbs payed for my ticket! i swam with the hammerheads and the caribbean reef sharks, the first time i came face to face with a reef shark i was terrified. lets just say that i wouldnt want to be the one to wear my wet suit after me. i peed myself. well, when the shark looks straight at you it sends shivers up and down your spine because sharks have both upper and lower eyelids, yet they cannot blink. they are like meg ryan! my instructor told me that the best way to stop a shark attack is to poke him in the eye. its very comforting to know the difference between life and death is a move perfected by the three stooges.'
+ summer livin' with sean connery
+ eddie izzard comes by to help with emails and tweets!

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