8-05-13

+ 'i can tell by the look on your faces, completely random selection of the public', craig ferguson states, 'and you at home, i can see you- oh yes i can!  i know you are thinking 'craig, i wish you would tell us the latest news from hollywood!'  alright, i will.  the big news in hollywood is the movie i saw five times over the weekend: smurfs 2!  what a great movie!  its rare that a sequel surpassed the original, like the second godfather movie is better the first, star wars, the second is better, or the oj simpson trial...  i liked the ending better on the second one!  anyway, if you know anything at all about me, you know i love the smurfs.  i'm like a smurfaholic.  if you dont like the smurfs then join al quida!  the smurfs are tiny little creatures that everybody loves.  kind of like justin bieber but without the 'everybody loves' part.  i used to love that little canadian songster, but he's turning out to be a world class prick, huh?  who knew?  anyway, i cant decide on my favorite smurf.  i love papa smurf, of course, but who is that one who is always yelling at everyone with his long winded stories?  regis smurf, that's right.  there's tito smurf, germaine smurf, you've got your kardashian smurf.  the smurfs are named after their personalities.  the one who plays pranks is jokey smurf, the one who's always falling down is clumsy smurf, and the one who's always complaining is french smurf.  if you don't know about the smurfs, here's the basics:  they are little blue people who live in mushroom shaped houses and they fight crime or something.  i don't really give a rats ass about this.  the village is 100 male smurfs and one girl smurf.  is it any wonder these dudes are blue?'
- minnie driver talks and sings
> baron vaughn