+ 'i have to be very careful tonight', craig ferguson informs,' guess what happened to me today? i was brushing my teeth this morning. 'but craig, you are european!' yes, but i'm an american now. i was brushing my teeth this morning and one of my crowns just boop- fell out! i was like 'oh!' it just fell right out! i had to go to the dentist and they put it in. guess what happened when i went to the dentist? the guy said 'ah, its cool'. when i went to pay he waved me off saying 'oh, its fine'. what part of beverly hills is this? the guy said 'it only took five minutes, get out of here'. ok! i have to be careful though, cause it has to be redone. its just glued temporarily, it has to be redone. my tooth might fall out on the show tonight. that woke you up, didn't it? now you'll stay watching! you'll see that, the ratings will go crazy! people are going to watch shows to see if teeth fall out! 'two and a half teeth', 'how i met your dentist'- its teeth watch 2013! anyway, its a great day for america, everybody! its not such a great day for that little canadian girl, that rabble rouser, justin bieber. he's in terrible trouble! his tour bus was stopped at the canadian border by the patrol agents and they found marijuana! the agents said justin bieber was a disgrace to canada and should never come back. then they found the marijuana! look at that- first joke out of the way and the teeth are still there!'
- henry winkler
- valerie azlynn