+ 'the grammys are this weekend,' craig ferguson starts, 'a lot of people have criticized the grammys for being out of touch, and you can see their point. even the name 'grammy' is short for gramaphone- the ward is a big old record player with a horny thing. they are a bit out of touch, there have been some glaring embarassments in grammy history, like the time when jethro tull won best heavy metal album over metalica. how can that happen?!? jethro tull has a flute, they've got a flute in jethro tull! a flude is not heavy metal unless you're a hobbit!'