+ 'its a great day to be a dog', craig ferguson admits, 'today is the finals of the westminster dog show. i am definitely a dog person, i love dogs. i've said it before, if you dont like dogs then go and join your buddies in al qaida! on you go, you bastard! off you go to torabora you dog hating communist! i love talking about the dog shows as well because cbs cant stop me from saying 'bitch!' the westminster dog show is the grandaddy of them all. its like the oscars of dog shows, the speeches are shorter though. there's slightly less butt sniffing at the dog show. the dogs are judged by a very odd criteria: their coats, eye shape, and their testicles. it's actually exactly like the oscars, now that i think of it...'
+ michael caine in spain

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